Sonic Colours..in a certain number of a minutes… In Brief…The abridged version.
Written by Luke Wholey.
CAUTION: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE WII VERSION OF SONIC COLOURS
Sonic and Tails are watching TV when the channel changes into Dr.Eggman dancing like the 6 flags guy.
Dr.Eggman: Come to Dr. Eggman's theme park of fun. We got rides, fun and totally not an elaborate trap to rule the universe. And it's in space.
Sonic: Wow a theme park!
Tails: I think it's a trap.
Sonic: Yeah, Eggman's up to something..cos its in space. Lets go!
Cut to Sonic and Tails going up in an elevator.
Robot: Hi. welcome to Funland.
Sonic: How much are tickets?
CHAPTER 1: FUN LAND
Tails: What do you wanna do first, Sonic?
Sonic: Well first I..OH MY GOD DODGEMS!! WEEE.
Sonic goes round on the Dodgems and crashes into other Dodgems that explode.
Sonic: Hey where are the Chili Dogs stands?
Eggman: Attention. We have No Chilli Dog stands.
Eggman: Although we do have Sprouts stands and Haggis shakes.
Sonic: Screw this I'm gonna run for a bit.
Cut To sonic Running,
Sonic: Whoa that alien's in trouble.
Cubot: C'mere ya lil' varmin't.
Sonic: Hey leave that alien alone!
The alien infuses Sonic with laser powers.
Cubot: Dangit it's the Hedgehog!
Orbot: Run awaaay!!
Sonic: Hey who's this guy?
Tails uses his translator
Tails: His name is Cu'Taugh and he slaughters thousands and bathes in their blood for the empire. Oops! I got it in Klingon.
Yakker: (I really will kill you and Bathe in your blood.)
Tails: His names Yakker and Eggman wants to capture his race in order to rule the universe.
Sonic: I knew ol' Furface is up to something. I'm gonna sort him out.
Yakker: (I will kill you all!)
Tails: He also says that you are his only hope.
Sonic runs around and shoots at people. (with lasers not Guns)
Voice: LAZER! DRILL! THINGS! MONKEYS!
Eggman: Haha! With my alien prisoners I will rule the Universe.
Cubot: Ahm surprised you didn't build some kind of bomb and destroy all of reality!
Eggman: I did, but some guy nicked my idea.
(EARLIER AT THE PUB)
Davros: Tell me again about how to make this "Reality Bomb".
Eggman (Drunk): Look, its very simple…
Eggman: Now, nobody will stop me.
Sonic: Hi I'm nobody.
Orbot: I didn't know Sonic read the Odyssey.
Sonic: Odd-a what now?
Eggman: Aggh Sonic, I will destroy you with my evil Ferris Wheel.
Evil Ferris wheel: Hello.
Sonic hits it.
Evil Ferris wheel: Ow! Me eye! (Explodes)
Arm gets stuck in thing with sign that says (Remember this. It's important.)
CHAPTER 2: CAKE LAND.
Sonic: Wow, look at all these huge cakes and burgers.
Tails: This must be Eggman's pantry.
Sonic runs some more.
CHAINSAWS! BRICKS! COOKIES!
Sonic sees the good ship lollipop.
Pirate looks to see Sonic with a Cannon.
Sonic sinks the good ship Lollipop.
CHAPTER 3: SPACE FLEET LAND.
Sonic: Oh come on this is obviously a space fleet. Look! There's even Star Destroyers there!
Eggman: Time for the parade which is not a huge space armada.
Sonic runs around loops and falls off.
Voice: HOVER! BANANA! SPOON!
Eggman (with long black hair): Oh Hai Sonic I have a brainwashing machine.
Tails: MUST KILL SONIC. *gets out a machine gun*
Sonic: NOO I must fight my best friend. Which should be an interesting Boss fight.
Tails reverts to normal.
Eggman: Damn, out of juice. At least I cheated you players out of a potental Boss fight.
Guide: And over here is the..DESTROY ALL LIVING THINGS!! *starts blasting everything. Sonic runs up and destroys it*.
Sonic: Well that's my complaint posted.
CHAPTER 4: WISP LAND.
We see robots as lumberjacks in bras cutting down trees. Sonic destroys them with Spikes,and blows up a factory causing a forest fire.
SPIKES! FIRE! SMOKEY!
Sonic: Umm, you didn't see that.
CHAPTER 5: ORIENTAL WATER LAND.
Sonic: Hey wow, Water stages.
Sonic swims around and sees the countdown..Sonic runs around panicking..
FISH! BACON! LIFEBELT! HOVER!
Sonic: oh no a Submarine! I'm done for!
Submarine gets blown up by another Submarine.
Sonic: Wow, thanks Sean Connery from 'Hunt for Red October'
Sean C: Itsh no problem.
Tails turns up.
Sonic: Where have you been?
Tail: I went to get some sushi and err..
Tails gets a live squid on his plate and promptly throws up.
Squid: Kill meee…
Guy from 'Oldboy': You gonna eat that?
CHAPTER 6: ROLLER COASTER LAND.
Sonic goes around on a roller coaster. Throws up.
Sonic gets Frenzy and eats everything (OM NOM NOM)
Crazy nutter: FRENZY! PINAPPLES! CRAZY THING THAT'S GONNA EAT ME! *gets eaten*
Sonic then destroys the boss.
Sonic: Now all the planets are free.
Yakker: (Now I will conquer the worlds in the name of the Empire and I will soon enslave yours, and you will be my slaves.)
Tails: Yakker says that the Wisps are now free and we are guests of honour.
Yakker: (Then I will devour your flesh.)
Tails: And he says that he wants to eat Ice Cream with us.
Sonic: C'mon lets party.
Tails and Sonic dance like Mick Jagger.
Eggman: Noo! hes runining everything! But I got enough Wisps to unleash their power and activate the Brainwashing Machine and make everyone my slave!
Eggman Presses the on button. As the machine grows in power the arm from earlier (With sign that says remember this?) makes the machine explode.
Cubot: Yarr I'm a Pirate, Now I'm a hip Bronx guy, now mesa Jar Jar Binks.
Eggman: Shut up!!!
Cubot: Yousa suck at your plans.
Eggman: No I'm not, I got one more trick up my sleeve.
Sonic: Oh no, everything's gonna blow up! Lets go!
Sonic runs and destroys robots.
Eggman: Its over Sonic! I have a machine..THAT CANNOT DIE!!
Sonic: Well there's one thing I have to do.
Pushes Tails into the elevator.
Tails: Hey wait!
Sonic: Bye now.
Eggman: You can't destroy me, This is your end!
Sonic: No..THIS IS MY END! *shows his butt, mooning Eggman, and gets lazered* YEOWCH!
Sonic runs up to Eggman's machine, bashes it and gets all the Wisps.
Nutter: RAINBOW POWER!!
Sonic turns into a magical rainbow thing.
Eggman: NOOO! I'm allergic to Rainbows!
The machine explodes and there's now a Black hole which engulfs Sonic.
Sonic is then surrounded by Wisps.
Sonic: Wow, the wisps are helping me..
But the Wisps just chuck him on the ground Wile E. Coyote Style.
Tails: Sonic, so nice of you to drop by.
Sonic: *spitting out teeth* We did it Tailsh, we shaved the world!
Tail: And I got the Translator working.
Yakker: (Says stuff.)
Tails: He says that as we saved his race, he will spare our lives in the great purge of the universe where countless worlds will die and they become the new overlords.
Sonic: Awww, ain't that cute?
The Wisps leave.
Tails: Where to now Sonic?
Sonic: I don't care, I'm going to the Pub.
Tails: Wait for me.
Sonic: Well you can't drink booze till yer 18.
CUT TO CREDITS WITH SONIC RUNNING, THEN MARIO IN A KART KNOCKS HIM OFF RAINBOW ROAD.
END AND STUFF.
Eggman: Haha! Think it's the end? I'm already planning my revenge for the sequel..or the next Sonic game!
Cubot: But you suck as we never catch Sonic, now I'm gonna ramble on about pie. (cue rambling about pie)
Eggman: Please end…now?
THE REAL END.